Quentin Walsh: Today we’re talking about Warm Bodies. This is a post-apocalyptic zombie movie with a warm and fuzzy center. It scores a lot of points for sticking the landing.
Jason Walsh: The last ten minutes were very nice.
Jake McAlister: Still, let’s not get carried away. It’s a minor film. This is February 1, after all. The graveyard of film releases.
Quentin: It’s not a bad movie.
Jake: No, it’s not. Everything is good but nothing is great. However, it is a bad movie when it comes to the use of a first-person voice over.
Jason: Can we ban voice overs? Just for a year or two.
Quentin: And cold openings followed by “Two Days Earlier.”
Jake: Look, I get it. They’re adapting a book. The main character is not particularly verbal. The voice over is an obvious choice to get into R’s head.
Quentin: And that’s the problem.
Jake: Yes. Even if it worked—and in this case it most definitely does not—Jonathan Levine scores zero points for originality.
Jason: Or degree of difficulty. This could have been so much more interesting in the hands of someone innovative. And I enjoyed 50/50, his other movie.
Quentin: I would like to see it with the voice over stripped away.
Jason: It would be better.
Jake: So much better. It only added to the proceedings maybe 10% of the time.
Quentin: The other 90 it was just annoying.
Jake: Really. Did I need to hear his thoughts as he was shooing goats out of the way?
Quentin: What did you think of Monday’s episode of The Following?
Jake: My head almost exploded. It’s a master class in narrative construction.
Jason: Tune in now, because it’s only going to be brilliant for one season.
Quentin: It’s the Revenge if 2013. Poor Travis, though.
Jake: Does he have to leave the room?
Jason: Yes. He went into the kitchen and watched Smash on his laptop.
Quentin: Have they fixed that thing?
Jason: Debra Messing’s still in it.
Quentin: So then the answer would be no.
Jake: Are you guys excited about the big party on Sunday?
Quentin: Travis and Cade’s Second Annual Super Bowl Fiesta? Your mom and dad are coming, right?
Jason: Colin and David are flying in from New York.
Jake: Really? Why didn’t you tell me that?
Quentin: We just found out this morning. He called Ben.
Jason: Who also bought us tickets to see The Killers in May.
Jason: Yeah. It’s going to be us three, plus Ben and your dad. Travis is staying home with Cade.
Jake: Are Topher and the boys going too?
Jason: Of course. And fun. at Stubbs in twelve days.
Jake: I am so psyched for that.
Quentin: Let’s get back to the movie. What did you think of the talent? I thought Teresa Palmer was hot.
Jake: If I were straight, I’d feel the same way. But her career is stuck in neutral. She keeps getting overshadowed by her male co-stars in mediocre movies.
Jason: I Am Number Four is an excellent example.
Jake: Yes. They’re like movies for the CW crowd.
Quentin: I appreciate stories about teenagers, though.
Jason: Dave Franco is 28.
Quentin: James’s little brother? You know what I’m going to say about him.
Jake: I think I can guess.
Jason: Me too. Eyebrows.
Quentin: Jesus, the dude’s whole face is nothing but real estate for those eyebrows. I couldn’t even pay attention to what he was saying. I was completely distracted.
Jake: They look like caterpillars.
Jason: I found the Romeo & Juliet parallels heavy handed.
Quentin: It was more Beauty and the Beast, anyway.
Jake: Or Edward Scissorhands.
Jason: Throwing in the balcony scene was cheesy.
Jake: Let’s face it. There were a lot of missteps along the way. I admit, the payoff at the end was beautiful, but we won’t remember this movie in six months even.
Jason: I won’t remember this movie tomorrow.
Quentin: Some good trailers.
Jason: Now You See Me.
Quentin: What did you think of the guy who played R?
Jason: Nicholas Hoult. He was part of the problem.
Quentin: What was wrong?
Quentin: And that’s a problem?
Jake: That’s a big problem. He was fine. I’ve watched a few episodes of the UK Skins. He was way better in that. Something happened to him here. The role neutered him.
Quentin: What about the soundtrack? I like the retro vinyl feel.
Jake: Me too.
Jason: I’m sorry, but the music was for old people. You’ve never heard that Springsteen song before.
Jake: No, but I’ve heard that Bob Dylan song. My dad is a huge Dylan fan.
Quentin: Jason, do you want to give us a summary?
Jason: Despite its sweetness, the movie is crippled by a high forgettability factor. It will make a nice rental in a few months. If you’re looking for something with a few laughs and a nice pay off, then I highly recommend it.
Quentin: You do have to put up with someone eating brains, though.
Jake: There’s always that. Otherwise, the basic message is a good one.
Quentin: Love is the cure.
Jason: <takes Jake’s hand> Indeed it is.