Friday, February 1, 2013

Warm Bodies

Quentin Walsh: Today we’re talking about Warm Bodies. This is a post-apocalyptic zombie movie with a warm and fuzzy center. It scores a lot of points for sticking the landing.

Jason Walsh: The last ten minutes were very nice.

Jake McAlister: Still, let’s not get carried away. It’s a minor film. This is February 1, after all. The graveyard of film releases.

Quentin: It’s not a bad movie.

Jake: No, it’s not. Everything is good but nothing is great. However, it is a bad movie when it comes to the use of a first-person voice over.

Jason: Can we ban voice overs? Just for a year or two.

Quentin: And cold openings followed by “Two Days Earlier.”

Jake: Look, I get it. They’re adapting a book. The main character is not particularly verbal. The voice over is an obvious choice to get into R’s head.

Quentin: And that’s the problem.

Jake: Yes. Even if it worked—and in this case it most definitely does not—Jonathan Levine scores zero points for originality.

Jason: Or degree of difficulty. This could have been so much more interesting in the hands of someone innovative. And I enjoyed 50/50, his other movie.

Quentin: I would like to see it with the voice over stripped away.

Jason: It would be better.

Jake: So much better. It only added to the proceedings maybe 10% of the time.

Quentin: The other 90 it was just annoying.

Jake: Really. Did I need to hear his thoughts as he was shooing goats out of the way?

Quentin: What did you think of Monday’s episode of The Following?

Jake: My head almost exploded. It’s a master class in narrative construction.

Jason: Tune in now, because it’s only going to be brilliant for one season.

Quentin: It’s the Revenge if 2013. Poor Travis, though.

Jake: Does he have to leave the room?

Jason: Yes. He went into the kitchen and watched Smash on his laptop.

Quentin: Have they fixed that thing?

Jason: Debra Messing’s still in it.

Quentin: So then the answer would be no.

Jake: Are you guys excited about the big party on Sunday?

Quentin: Travis and Cade’s Second Annual Super Bowl Fiesta? Your mom and dad are coming, right?

Jake: Yep.

Jason: Colin and David are flying in from New York.

Jake: Really? Why didn’t you tell me that?

Quentin: We just found out this morning. He called Ben.

Jason: Who also bought us tickets to see The Killers in May.

Jake: All of us?

Jason: Yeah. It’s going to be us three, plus Ben and your dad. Travis is staying home with Cade.

Jake: Are Topher and the boys going too?

Jason: Of course. And fun. at Stubbs in twelve days.

Jake: I am so psyched for that.

Quentin: Let’s get back to the movie. What did you think of the talent? I thought Teresa Palmer was hot.

Jake: If I were straight, I’d feel the same way. But her career is stuck in neutral. She keeps getting overshadowed by her male co-stars in mediocre movies.

Jason: I Am Number Four is an excellent example.

Jake: Yes. They’re like movies for the CW crowd.

Quentin: I appreciate stories about teenagers, though.

Jason: Dave Franco is 28.

Quentin: James’s little brother? You know what I’m going to say about him.

Jake: I think I can guess.

Jason: Me too. Eyebrows.

Quentin: Jesus, the dude’s whole face is nothing but real estate for those eyebrows. I couldn’t even pay attention to what he was saying. I was completely distracted.

Jake: They look like caterpillars.

Jason: I found the Romeo & Juliet parallels heavy handed.

Quentin: It was more Beauty and the Beast, anyway.

Jake: Or Edward Scissorhands.

Jason: Throwing in the balcony scene was cheesy.

Jake: Let’s face it. There were a lot of missteps along the way. I admit, the payoff at the end was beautiful, but we won’t remember this movie in six months even.

Jason: I won’t remember this movie tomorrow.

Quentin: Some good trailers.

Jason: Now You See Me.

Quentin: And the new Brad Pitt.

Jake: Looks like some ambitious storytelling on the horizon.

Quentin: What did you think of the guy who played R?

Jason: Nicholas Hoult. He was part of the problem.

Quentin: What was wrong?

Jake: Nothing.

Quentin: And that’s a problem?

Jake: That’s a big problem. He was fine. I’ve watched a few episodes of the UK Skins. He was way better in that. Something happened to him here. The role neutered him.

Quentin: What about the soundtrack? I like the retro vinyl feel.

Jake: Me too.

Jason: I’m sorry, but the music was for old people. You’ve never heard that Springsteen song before.

Jake: No, but I’ve heard that Bob Dylan song. My dad is a huge Dylan fan.

Quentin: Jason, do you want to give us a summary?

Jason: Despite its sweetness, the movie is crippled by a high forgettability factor. It will make a nice rental in a few months. If you’re looking for something with a few laughs and a nice pay off, then I highly recommend it.

Quentin: You do have to put up with someone eating brains, though.

Jake: There’s always that. Otherwise, the basic message is a good one.

Quentin: Love is the cure.

Jason: <takes Jake’s hand> Indeed it is.

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