Friday, June 28, 2013

White House Down

Quentin: You owe me a hundred bucks, dude.

Jake: I do not owe you a hundred bucks.

Quentin: Bullshit. It didn’t end with a digital clock counting down.

Jake: But there was a digital clock as an element of the ending.

Quentin: That’s not what you said. “A hundred bucks says it ends with a digital clock ticking down.” That was the bet. We never saw the time past two minutes, and I consider how they handled it to be a twist on the cliché.

Jason: Plus the double ending.

Jake: You agree with him?

Jason: I think you should call this one a draw. I can see both sides.

Quentin: No way!

Jason: My decision is final. Neither one of you has a hundred dollars anyway. You need to make these bets with Ben, not each other.

Quentin: Fine. For the record, though, I hate you both right now.

Jake: You can be a real baby sometimes, you know that?

Quentin: I was kidding, asshole.

Jason: Ah, the joy of brothers.

Quentin: Can we move on?

Jake: Give me five seconds. <takes a deep breath> Okay. I’m good, asshole.

Quentin: We went to see White House Down today.

Jason: And we did actually catch a double feature last weekend of Much Ado About Nothing and The Bling Ring.

Jake: We just didn’t have a lot to say about them.

Quentin: Much Ado was remarkably bad, but we couldn’t spend a thousand words bashing Joss Whedon.

Jason: And The Bling Ring was spectacularly forgettable. We had virtually nothing to say about it.

Jake: Israel Broussard.

Jason: Except for him.

Quentin: How would you describe this movie, Jake?

Jake: White House Down is a strange hybrid of the “terrorist plot to bring down the US government” genre coupled with a frat boy buddy comedy.

Quentin: There were times when I thought I was watching 21 and Over.

Jason: This movie can be accused of many things, but taking itself too seriously is not one of them.

Jake: And that was jarring sometimes, given the levity of the subject matter.

Quentin:  They never levity you forget this was a movie.

Jake: Very funny. Some people will be put off by the tone.

Quentin: Maybe you’re right. But did you hear the guy next to us?

Jason: He was laughing his ass off.

Quentin: As was I. It’s a fun outing at the cinema, as long as you embrace the light touch.

Jake: Light touch? Doing donuts around the fountain on the White House lawn?  In the presidential car? That is not a light touch; that’s over the top.

Quentin: They weren’t doing donuts.

Jason: Come on. It was way over the top in certain places. You’ve got to admit.

Quentin: You didn’t enjoy it?

Jason: I didn’t say that. I enjoyed it very much. There’s something subversive about the whole thing. Sometimes my laughter felt inappropriate.

Jake: It was a clown movie, for Christ’s sake. You’re both crazy.

Quentin: What’s wrong with a clown movie?

Jake: So you admit it was over the top?

Quentin: You say that like it’s a bad thing.

Jake: The whole movie unnerved me.

Quentin: You need to chill.

Jason: See? That’s what I mean by subversive. People will not be sure they’re supposed to laugh.

Quentin: Foul. There is no question that Roland Emmerich intended to make a terrorist attack comedy. Everyone will be sure they’re supposed to laugh. I think it takes balls to make a movie like this.

Jake: Or incredibly bad taste.

Quentin: Cade would love it.

Jake: Maybe that’s my problem. I’m too old.

Jason: It does seem very well suited for thirteen-year-old boys.

Quentin: Did you just insult me?

Jason: What did you think of Jamie Foxx?

Jake: He made a very good clown president.

Quentin: He did what they asked him to do.

Jason: And Channing Tatum?

Quentin: They had good chemistry. I’m reconsidering my position that Tatum's the worst actor in the universe. He’s getting more comfortable in front of the camera, and I’m getting more comfortable with him.

Jake: He does better with the comedy than he does with the serious stuff.

Quentin: It’s hard to picture him as the father of an eleven-year-old girl, but he is 33.

Jake: It seems like just yesterday he was playing teenagers.

Quentin: Time flies.

Jason: Did you like this better than Olympus Has Fallen?

Jake: No way.

Quentin: Even I wouldn’t go that far. This is more an amusement park ride than a movie. I admit that. But I love rollercoasters, so what’s the problem?

Jason: There are worse ways to spend a summer afternoon.

Jake: I say see it just to witness how weird it is.

Quentin: We cool, Jake?

Jake: Yes. Though I was going to use that hundred bucks to take my boyfriend out to dinner, at the restaurant of his choice.

Jason: Can I reverse my decision?


  1. Did not think the movie was bad. I was OK with it. There were a few senses that I was like REALLY. Not a waste of my money at the movies. -Rachel

  2. I definitely loved every little bit of it.