Tuesday, June 18, 2013

This Is the End

Quentin: I thought Ben and Travis were never going to stop laughing at the end.

Jake: They were both off the rails.

Jason: Did you think it was that funny?

Jake: No!

Quentin: Not at all, but I think it was a generational thing. They're Seth Rogen’s age, and this particular pop culture reference hit them both in the sweet spot. And then Travis said, “Wait until Topher sees that.”

Jason: Ben said it was one of the funniest things he’d ever seen in his life.

Quentin: Hyperbole.

Jake: Whatever. We went to see This Is the End on Sunday, and since Ben and Travis both had the day off, we dragged them along with us.

Jason: But they’re not allowed to sit at the table.

Jake: Can you believe they're going to be 30 next month?

Quentin: Have you noticed they’re kind of annoying in public?

Jason: All the PDA?

Quentin: Yeah.

Jake: You’re just not like that. I enjoy a little PDA now and then.

Quentin: But do they have to hold hands everywhere we go?

Jake: I think it’s sweet.

Jason: Do you know there are some people who believe two men can’t hold hands in Austin?

Quentin: How is that possible? This city is super gay.

Jake: Because it’s in Texas.

Quentin: Austin is not like the rest of Texas.

Jake: Not everybody knows that. Besides, I think we can all guess what this is really about.

Jason: He doesn’t want to discuss it.

Jake: Too bad. Are you just going to pretend? She’s leaving in August, you know? Don’t ruin these last few weeks by turning into a dick.

Quentin: It was always far enough away that I didn’t have to think about it.

Jason: You’ve got to be happy for her, though. I mean, Stanford. Dakota’s going to rock California.

Quentin: I’m happy for her, but it’s also going to create a big hole in my life. Another big hole.

Jake: We’ll take care of you, dude. Amigos forever. And it’s not like Jason and I aren’t going through the same thing next year.

Jason: And I’m in the same place Quentin was a year ago.

Quentin: Denial.

Jason: Do you guys realize we just opened this review in the style of the movie?

Quentin: Bro bonding?

Jake: Shit, did you see the cocks on those demons?

Quentin: It was a weekend of CGI penises.

Jason: What did you think of the film?

Quentin: I liked it.

Jake: Me too. Even though Ben and Travis were rolling on the floor at the end, for me it was more of a smile comedy rather than a laugh comedy. It was very clever and inventive.

Quentin: It was right up my alley. I think it’s a good idea to make fun of ourselves, and there was a lot of that going on here.

Jason: If you haven’t read anything about this movie and you’re wondering if you should see it or not, here’s what you need to know. All the actors are playing themselves, albeit fictional versions of themselves.

Quentin: In many cases, asshole versions of themselves.

Jake: So there are a ton of Hollywood in jokes, which is always a good time. I got most of the references.

Quentin: This is a clique defining movie. I think if you’re an actor in Hollywood under 35 and you’re not in the movie, then you’re not one of the cool kids.

Jason: <coughs> Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

"What happened? Why didn't they ask me to be in this movie?"

Jake: Channing Tatum squeaked in there right at the end.

Quentin: And what they asked of him was a very high price of admission to the club.

Jason: Here’s the basic premise: what happens to a bunch of actors when the real Armageddon comes?

Jake: As a gay dude, I found the movie very accessible.

Jason: I agree. It’s not filled with the homophobic bullshit that usually comes with a straight bro comedy like this.

Quentin: We see Franco making fun of the gay rumors.

Jake: All in all, it looks like straight guys just aren’t as afraid of the gay anymore. I’m encouraged.

Jason: I don’t think we’re quite there yet, but this movie is a step in the right direction. Q, you had to be happy with a good dose of well-written banter.

Quentin: I was thankful for that. Lots of funny bits about stupid shit, which nonetheless strikes guys as important sometimes. Franco is funny. Rogen is funny. Jonah Hill is funny. Nice turn by Emma Watson. I think it will age well with further viewings.

Jake: The Michael Cera bit was off the hook.

Quentin: That was maybe the best part, because he’s in a place right now where he really needs to make fun of himself.

Jake: We got a sequel to Pineapple Express.

Quentin: A nice bonus.

Jason: Criticisms?

Jake: That they made it at all. As Simon used to say on American Idol, it’s a little self-indulgent.

Quentin: I’m glad we went.

Jake: Lots of dudes there with their bros.

Jason: I love the way straight guys act when they go to a movie together.

Jake: Their whole body language says, “We’re not on a date!”

Quentin: Sometimes they even put an empty seat between them.

Jason: God forbid their knees should brush together.

Jake: One of them might sprout a demon dick.

Quentin: Enough with the demon dicks.


  1. I don't think I will have time to see this before it leaves the theatres, but based on your review I will definitely put it on my list for later viewing. Your comments about the seat apart cracked me up. When I go to the movie with my friend to see a typically "guy" movie, the guys are there in droves and one seat apart. It's hilarious.

  2. How could anyone make any movie ever and not ask Joseph Gordon-Levitt to be in it. A travesty, I'll tell you!

  3. We love us some JGL, but it's curious that he has been excluded from this circle of Hollywood It Boys.