Friday, July 26, 2013

The Wolverine

Quentin: Jake, I think you should start us off today.

Jake: Okay. We went to see The Wolverine last night.

Jason: There weren’t very many people there.

Quentin: Never a good sign.

Jake: Afterward, in the car, I came up with this idea that kind of grew out of my frustration with the movie.

Quentin: Which was?

Jake: Not enough Wolverine. I know that sounds crazy, because it’s called The Wolverine and the character is in almost every frame. But it’s not crazy, is it?

Quentin: No. I was thinking the same thing. I just didn’t know how to articulate it.

Jason: Which has to be a first.

Quentin: Shut up.

Jake: There is a movie inside this movie that I really liked. The action picks up after the end of X-Men: The Last Stand.  In case you don’t remember what happened, Logan had to kill Jean Grey, who was Phoenix at the time, and he’s haunted by that.

Jason: As anyone who had to kill the great love of their life would be.

Jake: So Logan is in a dark place.

Quentin: And the movie is about his journey back from that.

Jake: Absolutely.

Jason: He is experiencing a crisis of meaning.

Jake: And purpose.

Quentin: Plus, since he’s immortal, he has that whole vampire dilemma going on. If he’s broken and defeated, then he’s got nothing but an eternity of misery to look forward to.

Jake: It’s a story that should work, because it’s worked a thousand times before.

Jason: So what went wrong?

Jake: Noise.

Quentin: Please explain.

Jake: The story of Logan’s crisis is in the movie, but it’s surrounded by so much noise that it gets buried.

Jason: So what was your idea?

Jake: They should have stepped away from the action genre and made this a character drama.

Quentin: It sounds like blasphemy when you say it out loud.

Jake: Look, the first X-Men was in 2000. This is the sixth installment of the franchise, which means we average six X-Men movies every thirteen years. If you calculate that out into the future, assuming a life expectancy of 75 years, we will have seen 33.69 X-Men films before we die.

Quentin: Did you make that up?

Jake: I swear I didn’t. Here’s my point: do all 33.69 of those have to be action movies? This is a character story that should have been told in a quiet, introspective way. It should have stepped away from the genre. It would have been revolutionary. Instead, what we got was a mediocre popcorn flick and a missed opportunity.

Quentin: Keep it for the future, dude.

Jason: Totally. In ten years when you’re the wunderkind of Hollywood and helming your own comic book franchise, you should do it.

Quentin: It’s a great idea. It would have sparked a massive conversation about what comic book movies are supposed to look like. I did like Jackman, though, which surprised me.

Jake: The role fits him like a glove at this point. And they certainly found lots of reasons for him to take his shirt off. Unfortunately, there was no other character I gave a shit about.

Jason: That was a huge problem: an appalling lack of other X-Men.

Quentin: There were other mutants.

Jason: But they didn’t have cool powers. This was clearly a bridge movie between The Last Stand and Days of Future Past.

Quentin: Speaking of which…

Jake: Please, for the love of God, don’t walk out once the credits start to roll.

Jason: The best scene pops up halfway through the credits.

Quentin: That’s when I realized what a disappointment the movie had been. I was so excited about that scene. I felt like it was the beginning of the movie I wanted to see.

Jake: I would say pass on this until you can stream it at home.

Jason: Then watch it with The Last Stand next May before Days of Future Past comes out.

Quentin: Are the expectations high for this?

Jake: Anything less than a $75 million opening weekend will be seen as a disappointment. And with four flops in the last four weeks, Hollywood could use the good news.

Quentin: We wish it well. It’s not a bad movie…

Jason: It’s just not an X-Men main course.

Jake: It’s an appetizer.

Quentin: I’m sure Jackman will be thrilled you called his movie an X-Men salad.

Jake: He who tosses it, eats it.

1 comment:

  1. Something about the previews for this movie felt off. Your review confirmed it.

    I'm counting the days to the opening of 2 Guns, I really like both Wahlberg and Washington.