Quentin: Jake, I think you should start us off today.
Jake: Okay. We went to see The Wolverine last night.
Jason: There weren’t very many people there.
Quentin: Never a good sign.
Jake: Afterward, in the car, I came up with this idea that kind of grew out of my frustration with the movie.
Quentin: Which was?
Jake: Not enough Wolverine. I know that sounds crazy, because it’s called The Wolverine and the character is in almost every frame. But it’s not crazy, is it?
Quentin: No. I was thinking the same thing. I just didn’t know how to articulate it.
Jason: Which has to be a first.
Quentin: Shut up.
Jake: There is a movie inside this movie that I really liked. The action picks up after the end of X-Men: The Last Stand. In case you don’t remember what happened, Logan had to kill Jean Grey, who was Phoenix at the time, and he’s haunted by that.
Jason: As anyone who had to kill the great love of their life would be.
Jake: So Logan is in a dark place.
Quentin: And the movie is about his journey back from that.
Jason: He is experiencing a crisis of meaning.
Jake: And purpose.
Quentin: Plus, since he’s immortal, he has that whole vampire dilemma going on. If he’s broken and defeated, then he’s got nothing but an eternity of misery to look forward to.
Jake: It’s a story that should work, because it’s worked a thousand times before.
Jason: So what went wrong?
Quentin: Please explain.
Jake: The story of Logan’s crisis is in the movie, but it’s surrounded by so much noise that it gets buried.
Jason: So what was your idea?
Jake: They should have stepped away from the action genre and made this a character drama.
Quentin: It sounds like blasphemy when you say it out loud.
Jake: Look, the first X-Men was in 2000. This is the sixth installment of the franchise, which means we average six X-Men movies every thirteen years. If you calculate that out into the future, assuming a life expectancy of 75 years, we will have seen 33.69 X-Men films before we die.
Quentin: Did you make that up?
Jake: I swear I didn’t. Here’s my point: do all 33.69 of those have to be action movies? This is a character story that should have been told in a quiet, introspective way. It should have stepped away from the genre. It would have been revolutionary. Instead, what we got was a mediocre popcorn flick and a missed opportunity.
Quentin: Keep it for the future, dude.
Jason: Totally. In ten years when you’re the wunderkind of Hollywood and helming your own comic book franchise, you should do it.
Quentin: It’s a great idea. It would have sparked a massive conversation about what comic book movies are supposed to look like. I did like Jackman, though, which surprised me.
Jake: The role fits him like a glove at this point. And they certainly found lots of reasons for him to take his shirt off. Unfortunately, there was no other character I gave a shit about.
Jason: That was a huge problem: an appalling lack of other X-Men.
Quentin: There were other mutants.
Jason: But they didn’t have cool powers. This was clearly a bridge movie between The Last Stand and Days of Future Past.
Quentin: Speaking of which…
Jake: Please, for the love of God, don’t walk out once the credits start to roll.
Jason: The best scene pops up halfway through the credits.
Quentin: That’s when I realized what a disappointment the movie had been. I was so excited about that scene. I felt like it was the beginning of the movie I wanted to see.
Jake: I would say pass on this until you can stream it at home.
Jason: Then watch it with The Last Stand next May before Days of Future Past comes out.
Quentin: Are the expectations high for this?
Jake: Anything less than a $75 million opening weekend will be seen as a disappointment. And with four flops in the last four weeks, Hollywood could use the good news.
Quentin: We wish it well. It’s not a bad movie…
Jason: It’s just not an X-Men main course.
Jake: It’s an appetizer.
Quentin: I’m sure Jackman will be thrilled you called his movie an X-Men salad.
Jake: He who tosses it, eats it.